Four phrases for yourself
Twelve minutes offering four ordinary wishes to yourself. It is the least dramatic practice on this site and the one people resist most — which is usually the sign that it is worth doing once.
- Length
- 12 minutes
- Suited to
- Starting out
- Published
- 29 Aug 2026
The script
Pauses are marked inline. Read at the pace that suits you; the timer below can keep time for you.
Sit comfortably. Let the eyes close or soften. Take three ordinary breaths. 30 s
Bring to mind an image of yourself as you are today — not an idealised version, not a photograph. Just the sense of being you. 45 s
Offer the first phrase silently: May I be safe. 30 s
Second: May I be well. 30 s
Third: May I be at ease. 30 s
Fourth: May I live with ease. 30 s
Now start again and go slowly. Say each phrase and then wait, as if you had asked a question and were listening for the answer. 180 s
Some phrases will feel hollow and some will land. Stay with the ones that land and repeat them. There is no requirement to like all four. 120 s
If you cannot say a phrase to yourself at all, use a neutral one instead: May I be steady. Honesty matters more than the wording. 90 s
Let the phrases go. Sit for one more minute without any instruction at all. 60 s
Anchor
the physical warmth in the chest when a phrase lands
If attention goes
Three things to do when the mind leaves — because it will.
- If the phrases trigger a list of things wrong with you, that list is not the practice. Note it and return to the next phrase.
- If a phrase feels like a lie, drop it and use a smaller one: May I get through today.
- If you feel nothing at all, that is a normal first session. The practice is the offering, not the feeling.
01The four phrases, and why these
The traditional set covers four separate conditions: safety (May I be safe), health (May I be well), freedom from inner agitation (May I be at ease), and the practical conditions of life going well (May I live with ease).
They are deliberately general. The point is not to wish for a specific outcome but to aim a wish at yourself at all — an act most adults have not performed since childhood.
02Phrases are not affirmations
An affirmation asks you to believe something you do not believe yet. A metta phrase asks you to offer something, and then to notice what comes back — agreement, resistance, grief, nothing.
That is why "May I be at ease" works even when you are not at ease. You are not claiming a fact. You are making an offer and observing the response, which is where the useful information lives.
03Working with resistance
The most common experience in the first session is a wave of unworthiness. This is ordinary and does not mean the practice is unsuitable for you. Try one of three adjustments: shorten the phrases, choose a neutral version, or offer the phrases to someone else first and then turn them inward.
A useful trick is to imagine the phrases being spoken to you by someone who means them — a friend, a teacher, or a figure you invent. Doing this once makes the direct version easier the next time.
Timer
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Questions that come up
Are the words important?
Less than you think. A phrase you can say without flinching does more than a poetic one you cannot. Write your own if the standard set does not fit.
Why does this practice make people uncomfortable?
It points attention directly at the relationship you have with yourself, which is usually kept busy with tasks. Discomfort in the first few sessions is the norm rather than the exception.
Should I feel warm and glowing?
No. Some sessions are dry. If pleasant feeling is being used as the measure, the practice turns into a mood-chasing exercise and stops working.
Terms used here
- Metta — The practice of wishing well, offered deliberately and without conditions.
- Equanimity — Steadiness that does not depend on things going well.
- Noting — Giving what has distracted you a one-word label, then returning.
- Wandering mind — Attention leaving the chosen object without permission; not a defect, but the raw material.
Before you begin — Everything here is general information about attention and breathing, offered for educational use only. It is not medical or psychological treatment, and it is not a substitute for care from a qualified professional. If you have a heart or lung condition, a history of panic attacks or trauma, are pregnant, or are being treated for a mental health condition, talk to your clinician before starting breath-holding or long body-scan practice. Stop if a practice makes you dizzy, breathless or distressed.